thumbsucker

Amanda and I just got back from watching Thumbsucker - although it was a fantastic movie that we both enjoyed very, very much, it's not the reason I bring it up. With only about ten minutes left in the film, Amanda had a bit of an epiphany... to explain:

On September 6th, I sat down with Amanda and taped an interview with her - asking at one point what the bike trip meant to her, long story short, she had a difficult time answering the question in a way that was satisfying to either her or myself. And in her defense, the question is intentionally vague - I could ask one person what their bike trip "meant/means to them" and get a general-bullshit-impersonal answer, but the same question to the right person could spur an hour long confession about... well, anything and everything.

And during the night I taped Amanda, her answer fell somewhere in between - but I suspected she just hadn't found the words to describe her emotions yet. So tonight - twenty one days later - it hit her during the film, something sparked, she leaned over to me and whispered, "I know what the bike trip means to me now". And I said, "huh"? Because I was glued the screen and didn't hear her, so she repeated and then said, "living in the moment".


Now, "living in the moment" might sound like an overly simple and even stupid way to sum up a three-thousand mile bike trip. But I think it's probably the single best explanation of the experience - better than anything I've ever come up with in the last five years. The only thing that might come in a close second is probably, "I'm twenty three years old - and the two trips I've taken... it's the most consistent number of days where I've felt completely satisfied and happy... went to sleep every night feeling like I wouldn't go back and change a thing... knowing that I didn't wast away half the day by sleeping in or just staring into my computer screen".

Amanda compared it to the same simple emotional when you're young, and you're just lying there in the grass of your front yard watching the insects run between the blades of grass, contemplating the meaning of your young life and the universe... and that's it - you are completely content and amazed in that moment.

Everything is planning and worrying, it's all a complicated form of tunnel-vision honestly, and Amanda nailed it on the head when she said, "living in the moment".


Also, if you haven't downloaded the song 'Scream & Shout' by Tim DeLaughter from the Thumbsucker soundtrack... then I highly recommend you do - I'm obsessed with it at the moment.

conversation with a stone

part 6 & 7 of seven [ one . two . three . four . five . six & seven ]

Four post ago, I mentioned I was in the middle of, among other things, selling my GL2 and my eMac. Well, that was an entire 22 days ago, and I'm still sitting here writing this post on my eMac, with my Canon besides me on the desk.

Long story short, the items didn't hit their reserves on ebay, which were set fairly low for both sales - $1,700 for a basically-new $2,400 camcorder, and $400 for the Mac. Then they didn't sell again, so I listed them on craig's list, that was over a week ago, and I still haven't received one email... how difficult could it possibly be to sell a camera in a town where every other person desperately needs one?

But despite the stand still on the above issue, I have been getting some interviews down on tape. Although I'm noticing a small electronic glitch in the audio of the interviews... a high-pitched, half-a-second beep that is faint, but still annoying all the same - it seems to be happening about every ten to fifteen minutes. I've tried cleaning the heads, etc, but it still shows up all the same.


Aside from the interviews, and the failed attempts at pawning off my equipment... I've been keeping busy with a steady diet of homework; recently: Best Boy, Grey Gardens, I am Cuba, Harold and Maude, A Very Long Engagement...

I've also been searching the internet, trying to locate a copy of Satanstango, but it's [like everything else] harder than I first assumed, my last hope is Rocket Video, but thanks to my internet being almost non-existent, I'm having trouble loading their site. Here is a quote I founf on 'filmbrain', from Gus Van Sant after having just watched the seven hour long film:

"It was exactly what I needed to see at that exact moment in my life. It also summed up some things that I'd been thinking about for a long time and been influenced by but never put to use. The film was accomplishing those things, and a lot of that had to do with the timing of the story and how long he would take to describe certain actions that are simple yet the more you watch them the more they grow in their illumination. It was very inspirational."

Recently I've been getting frustrated with Netflix's lack of hard-to-find films, in their defense I'm not sure if Satanstango has ever been transfered to dvd, but it's still one of many films I've been unable to find through their site. They need a request a film page for their member's page.


Lastly, I still have two slideshows that I've been saving... instead of dragging them out any longer, I'm going to post them both back to back. Enjoy.